By Dr. Don Dunlap
Pastoral Counselor
Review a self-evaluation checklist of offenses that children commit against their parents.
Family Counseling Ministries -
Are you interested in a tool that would help you mend a broken relationship with your parents? In this checklist Dr. Dunlap urges children who find it hard to identify specific ways that they offend their parents to read through this list carefully and prayerfully.
Listed below are some of the offenses that children typically commit against their parents. As you read through this list you may wish to check any of these offenses that apply to you.
___ 1. Saying “no” to parents
___ 2. Interrupting parent and adult conversations
___ 3. Complaining about instructions given
___ 4. Delayed obedience (i.e. waiting to obey, talking to procrastinate obedience)
___ 5. Arguing/explaining against doing something
___ 6. Complaining about food, shoes, clothes, etc. / general ungratefulness
___ 7. Comparing parents
___ 8. Talking back to parents.
___ 9. Rolling eyes at parents.
___ 10. Devaluing parents by talking about them negatively to others.
___ 11. Doing a job half-heartedly just to get through
___ 12. Manipulating to get your way
___ 13. Lying
___ 14. Half-truths/deception
___ 15. Not calling when you’re going to be late coming home
___ 16. Doing anything you know your parents disapprove of
___ 17. Stealing/non-approved borrowing
___ 18. Yelling/talking rudely to parents
___ 19. Stating “you never” or “you always”
___ 20. Misusing furniture (including slamming doors, hitting walls, throwing things, etc.)
___ 21. Pouting
___ 22. Neglecting duties
___ 23. Not showing appreciation
___ 24. Not receiving instruction/correction – being unteachable (pride)
___ 25. Getting out of bed for inappropriate reasons to delay obedience in sleeping
___ 26. Making long-distance phone calls without permission
___ 27. Doing anything illegal in the house
___ 28. Having guests/phone calls past bedtime hours
___ 29. Begging
___ 30. Not taking care of room, toys, clothes (stewardship)
___ 31. Misquoting parents to siblings
___ 32. Not serving with a good attitude
___ 33. Always having to be asked/told to do something
___ 34. Leaving areas of the house messy
___ 35. Asking the same question repeatedly after an answer has been given
___ 36. Playing tricks on your parents
___ 37. Ignoring parents
___ 38. Not giving parents your total attention when they are talking to you
___ 39. Not responding when called/ slow response
___ 40. Not taking care of elderly parents
___ 41. Playing/manipulating one parent against the other
___ 42. Trying to get out of punishment/not accepting discipline with right attitude
___ 43. Whining
___ 44. Not being understanding during physical illness
___ 45. Demanding attention/demanding anything
Now go back and write out each offense expanding specifically on each one. Then, sit down with your parents and ask them to forgive you for every offense. This is one of the most important projects to restoring and strengthening a relationship with your parents. Give it your best effort. They will be able to sense any insincerity.
As children read through these items they should keep in mind that the purpose of this list is to begin the process of repentance, reconciliation and restoration.
Dr. Don Dunlap, a pioneer in the placement of Pastoral Counselors in the offices of Christian physicians, has conducted over twenty thousand appointments during his ministerial career. His counseling practice includes adults, children and families in crisis. Dr. Dunlap is committed to facilitating a network of telephone counselors. His goal is to provide help for the many people unable to meet face to face with a competent Bible-based counselor. For a complete library of Dr. Dunlap’s articles, indexed by topic, go to Family Counseling Ministries. You may also make an appointment for personal telephone counseling by clicking on Family Counseling Ministries. Family Counseling Ministries is a Christianity.com ministry Partner.
